Sue's story... I could not take it anymore! Yes I am one of those known as the "sandwich generation", sandwiched between three teenagers and an elderly mother. I also have the added bonuses of being a single mother and an only child.
I realized I needed help when I didn't get out of bed for a week. I left my teens and my mother to fend for themselves. I know - I can hear the critics now! "You did what?! You left your kids, and elderly mom, to take care of themselves. You are a horrible person!" Well, trust me, I heard those critics ringing in my ears that whole week but I just could not rally.
Luckily, I have one of those girlfriends who will tell it to you straight. Chris came right in on the 7th day, yanked the covers off of me, and told me to get help! She left a number on my nightstand, and told me that if I didn't call that day, she would have to take some "serious actions." She scared me into reality. I could not do this alone, and I could not leave my children and mom alone either.
I called the number, and am thankful to this day for the kind people at Sound Options, Inc. The eldercare consultant was able to help me focus on what I needed in order to get my life back on track. First of all, she made me feel OK about me! She let me know that being a caregiver, especially for four people, can be very stressful and demanding. But the most important thing she told me was that we all need help sometimes, and that it's all right to ask for help.
Sound Options helped me find a caregiver to assist with some of the responsibilities regarding my mother. Man, is she a blessing in disguise. She comes over for just about 3 hours a day, and helps clean, cook and be a companion for my mom. I come home a little less stressed, knowing that dinner will be ready and my mom will not be so needy for attention. The consultant also helped me figure out how to get my teenagers to help out around the house, so that I am not the only one doing all the work.
It's not perfect, but I don't feel so "pressed" anymore. I can breathe, enjoy my children and spend quality time with my mom. I have also realized that I need to spend some time with just "me", and I make sure I make the time to do something just for the joy of it! This is life, things happen, but it's OK to reach out and make things happen in a better way.
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